Mother’s Day.

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Yesterday was Mother’s Day. A day to celebrate and love those special women in our lives. Moms are amazing – mine is exceptionally awesome. She is a leader and cheerleader. She is a rock and a warm nurturer. She is smart and hilariously sarcastic. She is beautiful and could kick some serious ass. She deserves more than just a day for all she’s done and continues to do for her family.

I have always looked up to my mom. I thought I’d be just like her. Get married, have kids right away (maybe not 4 though), be a cool young mom, manage to have a career and family. She did it all. G and I waited 7 years into our relationship to get married. I’m 8 years older than she was when she had me. I’m starting a new job next week, and hope I finally found a career path at age 30. Nothing like I had planned, nothing like her. But when we left the appointment that finally explained our infertility I went straight to my parents’ house. I walked in the door and immediately started bawling. While she has never experienced what I have, there is nobody who understands more. She has a realistically positive outlook, that motherly know-all. Am I anything like her? Do I have what it takes? Can I ever get there? Oh, I hope so.

Mother’s Day is a difficult day. I’m sad that I’m not a mother. I’m so blessed to have my mother. It’s easy to be swept up in our own lives, I have to try to focus on those around me. My sister celebrated her first Mother’s Day thanks to our perfect god-daughter born last year. One of my very best friends celebrated her first as well since adopting the cutest baby boy. A challenging day for my strong mother-in-law who lost her only daughter in a car accident just a few years ago.  There are so many kinds of mothers out there that need to be noticed and appreciated and loved. I woke up to a message from a family member yesterday morning that read: “I wanted to be the first to wish you a happy Mother’s Day. Know that just because you currently don’t have your own child to be a mother to, you are a mother to all of the other children that enter your life. I know that soon enough, your journey will end and you too will be showered with Mother’s Day love from your own child. Enjoy the day and stay strong! You deserve everything good that comes your way!” I cried, and I smiled, and I cried. Thank you for that. While I feel this is a holiday not meant for me and I need to appreciate those others around me who deserve recognition, it is nice to be thought of.

I still hope to be like my mom one day. I won’t get there the same way, I’ll get there my way; but not without her unending love and support. She deserves more than just one day a year, but in case I don’t tell you enough, you’re the best mom. The. Best. Happy Mother’s Day.  XOXO

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